MK Update 3/10/2008

One down five to go!!!! Today was not that bad. The port access was really easy and I didn't feel a thing--so that got the day started off on a good note. They started me out with anti-nausea meds and then some steroids. That all went fine. Then, they gave me the first chemo. Everything was going good and suddenly my stomach kind of starting hurting, my lips felt funny, and I got really hot. Chris went to get the nurse and by the time they got back Chris said my face was a red as a Coke can (he is obviously not a Highland Rebel) and I couldn't stop coughing. But, they gave me some meds, made me wait an hour and started it up again. This time--no problems. My body just freaked out a little when the chemo first started. I told Chris it was all of those good little cells. They were probably freaking out--bless their hearts. They have been so good to me and now they are being attacked. But, they will come back once this is all over--and like me they too will be stronger from the experience! Isn't it funny how now I view my cells as little people. Anyway, I then finished the last two chemo treatments and got to leave around 4:30. It was a long day, but not near as bad as I was expecting. I go back tomorrow at 4:00 for the shot to help my cell counts from bottoming out. Now for the awesome parts of the day. First, I need to confess that for the first 33 years of my life I am certain that God was talking to me many, many times a day and I ignored His voice. Well, this experience has taught me how to listen and friends it is amazing what God says and how He says it! Today, when we arrived at Dr. Harrington's office there was a lady I would guess to be in her early 40's that arrived at the same time. She had no hair and was wearing a hat similar to one I just bought. She was so pretty--I mean just beautiful. She had on make-up, and pretty earrings and a matching necklace. She had on a cute shirt and hip jeans and her boots were so cool. I could not stop staring at her. She is the first person without hair from chemo treatments I have seen since this diagnosis that was just "take my breath away" beautiful. And her smile--it was so pretty and comforting. Every time she looked my way of course I was staring at her and every time she would smile the best smile and I would feel so calm. I finally told Chris that I thought that lady was beautiful and he said that he thought she was too. It gets better! When they called me back to access my port, they called her too. She sat directly across from me. She never, ever spoke--but that smile--it is a smile I will never forget. Again, I just kept staring. I tried once to say something to her, but it was if there was something there telling me just be quiet and listen! So for once, I didn't say a word. I felt so calm and I never even knew when the nurse accessed that port. I was too busy staring at the beautiful lady and her comforting smile. I know she was one of my earthly angels today. I know God was using this lady to assure me, to comfort me, and to protect me. Then, I told Chris earlier in the day that I felt like I did before basketball games in high school--a little nervous and a lot ready to get it started! I told him it would be perfect if I just had the band there to play Dixie for me--it would be great! There is no feeling like running out of that locker room with the band playing Dixie! Man, that was always so cool! Well, they took us back to a private room today and told us that the nurse would be in shortly to start the treatments and the teaching session. Are you ready for this? The nurse walked in and said, "Hi, I'm Dixie and I'm here to work with you today." Isn't that awesome? When she left the room, Chris said, "Babe, there is your Dixie!" I mean I was in awe--first the beautiful lady with no hair and then Dixie! Finally, when Dixie was giving me the last chemo and I was almost finished I heard a beautiful bell ringing and suddenly everyone started clapping. It sounded so much like a bell my Mom's parents used to have in their house. It was at the end of their hallway and I would ring it all of the time. I heard that bell ringing and immediately thought of my Grandpa Delmar. I asked Dixie what that was all about. She explained that when patients finish with their last chemo treatment they get to ring that bell as a celebration for finishing the chemo. Let me just tell you, everyone from Little Rock to Sharp County will hear me ring that bell when this is over. I can't wait to ring that bell! Forget snowmen, I may start collecting bells before this is all over!! HA! Our God is so awesome! I also know that my Grandpa Delmar is working his angel wings extra hard for me. I have only told my immediate family and a few very close friends this story because I didn't want people to think I was crazy. But, after today I know that God wants me to help others realize He is with us all the time--we just have to stop and listen. When I had my very first surgery (the lumpectomy) on January 9th I had a wonderful experience. While I was in surgery, I saw my grandpa. For those of you who don't know me well, my Grandpa was one of my closest friends and was my biggest fan. I love him dearly. During the surgery, he told me that he knew I was going to be okay and for me to not be afraid. He told me that he was going to be with me the entire time and that it wasn't my time yet and this was going to be over soon and that I was the toughest person he knew and I would be okay. He looked so good and I woke up feeling so positive! I know that he also is playing a big role in all of this--no matter what, he is always there for me. I am going to get through this! I just need to lose the hair and get moving on. I also know that I need to continue to stop and listen to what God is telling me! He is there in your e-mails. He is there in your prayers. He is there in your cards. He is there in your voices. He is there in your hugs. He is there in the tears that I know some of you have cried for me and with me. HE IS THERE! You all mean so very much to me--all of you--even those of you I have yet to meet! You are the best team I have ever had the privilege of being a part of--thank you for sharing in this experience with me! Much love to you all! MK