MK Update 7/7/2009

Hello Army!! I hope this e-mail finds you all enjoying summer! This has been a great summer for my family. We have had tons of fun times already and have many more adventures planned! The entire family is going to Branson next week for 7 days of fun and adventure. But the most exciting news is that Jay and Erin are expecting a baby in late January!! YIPPEE!! It's been over 9 years since we have had a baby in our family and oh January just can't get here fast enough!!! Yes, this summer has been much more exciting than last summer!! I send you this update on a BIG day for me--today marks one year since my last chemo treatment!! HOORAY!!!! Oh what a difference a year makes!!! It is hard for me to believe that one year ago I rang that bell signifying the end of those six treatments. I still remember the day I had my first chemo treatment when I learned about the famous "end of chemo bell ringing". I so remember thinking the day was never going to arrive when I would get to ring that bell. And I still remember that glorious feeling of victory I felt when I rang that bell. I can still see Sharon (my favorite chemo nurse) standing there with tears streaming down her face while I rang that bell. Man that was a feeling I will never forget! I never expected to get that feeling again today--but I woke up this morning and that feeling was overwhelming!!! I just can't put into words that feeling--but man it is wonderful!! Today was also a day of reflection. I spent a lot of time today thinking about the last 18 months. I could have never imagined when I heard those words "you have breast cancer" that so much good would follow. And although there have been some really yucky days, I can say without doubt there were and continue to be far more glorious days!! I have so much to be thankful for and so today I also spent a lot of time in prayer thanking God for my many blessings. I am thankful to my Army of Angels for being with me throughout this journey and for the comfort you provide as I continue on this journey. There are too many of you to name individually, but I am thankful for each of you more than you will ever know!! There are a few people that I do want to give special thanks. I am thankful for my parents (Ronnie & Kay Brogdon) for instilling so many qualities in me that I utilized throughout this battle like strength, courage, persistence, optimism, humor, compassion, patience, and of course FAITH! And for being there with me the last 18 months. I will never know what you must have felt when I called you both in an absolute panic after that ultrasound. Thanks for being my strength during those horrifying first few days and for cheering me on not just the past 18 months but the last 34 years--everything I am and have achieved is because of you! Thanks, Mom and Dad, you are amazing!! I am thankful for my brothers (David & Jay) and the constant support and friendship they provide. No matter what, these two are always there for me!! I still remember calling David in those first few hours--in my panic after that initial diagnosis--and even in all of that panic he just took over and within minutes (not hours) had me scheduled to see the best doctors faster than what my local doctor could get scheduled!! And then calling Jay and trying so hard not to cry and sound afraid when I called him because I am the big sister and I didn't want him to be worried--but I couldn't do that and it was okay--he was there with one of those famous Jay pep talks and prayer and just calm. Thanks, David and Jay, for making me the luckiest sister in the world!! I am thankful for my niece and nephews (Amanda, Zac, and Alex) who literally spent all of 2008 providing me with endless laughter and ensuring that any "yucky day" was always made better just by hanging out with me and providing me with a love like no one else in the world could give me. I am thankful to my sister-in-law (Erin) for being my "everything that I was needing at the time" person and for being "Erin Claus"!! I am thankful because through this we are even closer than we were--which I didn't think was possible but certainly love!! And, I am thankful for my husband (Chris Hardin aka Brucie-pooh). I really don't even know how to describe my thankfulness for Bruce. He has taken every last step of this journey with me--oftentimes carrying me when I didn't think I could make it another step--and has done so without complaint. He has loved me more than I ever knew I could be loved by someone that chooses to love me. He has held my hand when I was scared and wiped my face when I was sick. He has provided a constant calm even during the most uncertain times. He has made me feel like the most beautiful woman on earth even on days when I felt far from beautiful. He is famous at the chemo suite and doctor's offices for being "the sweetest husband on earth" and I am thankful that "I just call him mine"!!!!! Bruce--thank you for every single thing you have done for me and continue to do for and with me. I love you with a love I didn't know was possible!! Finally, I am most thankful to the One who has carried me through this journey like no other--knowing my fears and anxieties, my sadness and pain, my moments of strength and my moments of weakness, my times of faith and my times of little faith--knowing every thought and emotion like no one on earth could ever know and yet still carrying me even when I did not make it easy. What a victory we have in Jesus!!! That is the true victory--a victory we can all experience with or without cancer!! I know this cancer was a "calling" and I listened--even when it was so very hard to hear the message--I listened. And today as I was enjoying my very small victory over this cancer, I realized that when God does call me Home that feeling that I have relished today will seem like nothing compared to that glorious feeling I will get when I look upon the face of God!! Can you imagine--how amazing is that?!?!? Yes, today has been wonderful and I wanted to share with you this great day!! And I am looking forward to many, many more great days!! I will have my 6-month scans at the end of this month and I will let you know those results. I ask that you continue to pray for me specifically that I will continue to listen to that call and have faith in His plan for me. Please know that I love each of you and am oftentimes overwhelmed by the love you have shown for me. Thank you for loving me and joining me on this journey. God bless you all!!!!!! MK

MK Update 5/18/2009

Hello Army!! What a beautiful day!! Just wanted to give you guys an update and let you know how I am doing. I am doing GREAT!!!!!! I feel just wonderful!! My last oncology appointment (in April) went well. I have my next round of scans scheduled for the last two weeks in July. I will have a full body PET scan as well as a CT scan of my brain (just to prove I still have a brain!!). I do have to admit that chemo was terrible but did offer a sense of security. But as time passes that sense of security seems to fade. Until recently I really have not even given thought to the cancer returning; however, I do have to admit that those thoughts have started every so slowly creeping into my mind from time to time. But, I know that is really just that dreaded old Fear Monster (aka the devil) trying to work his way in and I just whip that Fear Monster right out of my mind! I just tell myself that God is using those times to help remind me of my faith in Him and His faith in me!! It is that simple!!

I do have to share with each of you my awesome experience Sunday. Chris and I had the wonderful pleasure of going to church with Erin (my sister-in-law) to the Sylvan Hills Church of Christ. Jay was gone with some men from their Sunday school class on a camping/devotional trip--so he was not able to be there. I have never been to church with Jay and Erin (or my Grandma Bobbie--she is an active member there as well). But throughout the past 17 months I have felt very, very connected to this church and its congregation. So, I was very excited (and nervous) to have to opportunity to meet all of these wonderful people that have been lifting me (and my family) up in prayer. Oh wow--what an experience! Sunday school was amazing!! Jay sent a letter that was read in class and it was honestly the most fantastic letter I have ever heard in all of my life. It made me laugh and cry and made me so proud!! After that, there was a time for prayer and praise which was very moving and Kyle's prayer was so loving and heartfelt. Finally, the lesson was so moving. It was from Matthew 14 when Peter walked on water and became afraid and began to sink in the water. Oh man do I know that feeling!! So many times during this experience I found myself full of doubt (in myself and my faith) and full of fear--just sinking in the water. Yet each time I found myself sinking in the water there you were, my Army, there to help me see that the Lord is there to save me. So many times it was the people from Sylvan Hills Church of Christ--people I had never met helping me, witnessing to me, leading me to the One who will save and protect me no matter what!! Meeting those people and sharing time with them was honestly one of the best experiences of my life. To feel the love that people I barely know have for me, well it is a feeling I just can't describe in words other than to say it has moved me to tears several times since yesterday. What I love the most about all of the people of that church is that they have loved and supported Jay and Erin and Grandma Bobbie during this journey. For me, the worst part of all of this has been what cancer has done to my family--not to me. So to know that this body of Christ has been there all of this time to take care of Jay, Erin, and Grandma Bobbie is also an unexplainable feeling. Thank you to the members of the Sylvan Hills Church of Christ--you are so loved!! I will be back soon!

Finally, I want to ask each of you to join "Abby's Army". Abby is the 3-year-old daughter of a friend of mine--Morgan Conner. Abby is Morgan and Jason's oldest daughter and was recently diagnosed with a very rare form of brain cancer Gliomatosis cerebri. She is scheduled to have surgery Friday. You can follow Abby's journey at http://abbyreeseconner.blogspot.com I KNOW the power of prayer. Please pray continuously for Abby and her family.

Well, so much for a short update!! Thanks again for "listening" to me!! I love each of you more than you will ever know. Thank you for continuing to walk with me on this journey. I will continue to keep you posted and will certainly let you know the results of my scans in July. God bless!! Big hugs--big tears--big smiles--lots of love!!!! MK

MK Update 3/10/2009

Hello Army!! I hope this e-mail finds each of you enjoying this wonderful weather!! I just wanted to send out a quick update and let you guys know that your prayers continue to sustain me! Today is a milestone day--one year ago today I received my first chemo treatment. That seems like so long ago yet the memories are still very vivid. At this time last year I was at Jay's house starting to feel somewhat yucky and clueless to just how yucky I would feel over the next 10 days when my bloodcounts would "bottom out" and I spend 5 days in reverse isolation at the hospital. I remember being amazed at just how terrible I felt and thinking that I might not make it out of the hospital. I also remember thinking that if I made it out this time I still had 5 more treatments to go and could not imagine going through that 5 more times. But, I did make it out of the hospital and tolerated the last 5 treatments much better (thanks to each of you)!!

Boy am I glad those days are a distant memory. I celebrated this milestone by working 11 hours today and going to the gym and playing basketball with Chris, David, Zac, and Alex. Oh how things have changed in one year!!! I feel so very, very good. I honestly feel better now than I did before the diagnosis. My bloodcounts are higher now than they were when I started chemo. I had my repeat scans in late January and those scans showed me to continue to be cancer-free!! I researched the "personal summer" issue and found that caffeine plays a large role in hot flashes. I stopped drinking Mt. Dew and 2 days later stopped having "personal summers"!! I got my first haircut a few weeks ago. I went with Erin and it was so much fun--small victories mean so much!! I still cherish each day and try to make the most out of every waking minute. I continue to remember the many lessons I have learned through this experience. I also remain amazed at the power of prayer and the sheer power of the "Army of Angels" that continues to pray for me (and my family) daily. I thank God for each of you daily. I love each of you and will be forever grateful for all that you have done (and continue to do) for me. I will keep you posted after scans and appointments. Much love to you all!! Big hugs, Big tears, Big smiles--lots of love!!!!! MK

MK Update 1/1/2009

Happy New Year!! I hope this e-mail finds each of you having a wonderful start to the new year. I was certainly more than eager to end 2008 and look forward to a very healthy 2009!! Tomorrow will be one year since I first received the breast cancer diagnosis--and what a year it WAS!! It seems so long ago that on the first Friday in January 2008 I walked into White River Medical Center with no worries or fears and walked out of there paralyzed by fear and negativity. Wow--that is certainly a feeling I care not to experience again!!

When I started this journey in January, I made a list of several goals for myself to help me maintain a positive focus. The number one goal was to finish all surgeries and treatments in one year. I DID IT!!! I managed to complete 5 surgeries and 6 chemo treatments in just under one year. My last surgery went well and was by far the easiest of the five. I still have a few cosmetic procedures left--but those are elective and outpatient and nothing major.

Along with goals, I decided to find one verse to help me as well. I picked the following verse and have recited it over and over during good days and yucky days. My Mom even found a t-shirt with this verse!!

Faith is being sure of what you hope for and certain of what we do not see. Hebrews 11:1

I finally feel back to "normal"! I have energy and feel so very good. I have enough hair that I can create crazy spiked up styles and new boobs that are just awesome!!!

I have used these updates as a way to purge all of my feelings and I thank each of you for "listening" to me throughout this journey. I thank you for your prayers, for your support, and for your love. For the first few weeks of this journey, I seemed to only be able to focus on the negative aspects of cancer. But, with your continuous prayers I quickly was able to focus on the positive aspects and with the exception of a few days that were really yucky (I think the steroids played a major role on those days) I have maintained that positive focus. I feel very, very blessed to have had the opportunity to experience such a life-changing experience at such a young age. For those of you that know me well, you know how very competitive I am. I have been a part of some wonderful victories, but let me just say there is no feeling like the feeling of victory over cancer!! I am thankful that each of you have been a part of my team and hope that you will share with me in this glorious feeling. I have posted a picture slideshow on my blog. The slideshow basically chronicles this past year. It is kind of long--but I hope you can all take the time to see how your prayers were able to sustain me throughout this past year.

I will have repeat scans in January and every six months for the next two years and then annually for three years. I still have to take an oral form of chemo (tamoxifen) for five years. It doesn't have major side effects--the only one I am experiencing is difficulty maintaining a comfortable body temperature. I go from really hot to really cold. I hate the term "hot flash" so I have starting referring to those episodes as my own personal summer. If I could only figure out how to induce a personal summer during a period when I am freezing--that would be great!!

I can't begin to express in words how much each of you mean to me. I continue to thank God for each of you. I am eternally blessed to be loved by such a wonderful "Army of Angels"!! From doctors and nurses, friends and family, co-workers and perfect strangers--I have been blessed!! I ask that you continue to pray that the cancer will not return and that I will always remember the many lessons I have learned from this experience. Remember to check out my blog: http://mkupdates.blogspot.com and that you forward this to everyone you know that has been a part of my "Army"!! I would also love to get your mailing address. I have something I would like to send each of you via snail-mail--so please send me your mailing address.

I will continue to keep you posted after scans and appointments. Thanks for everything!!

Big hugs, Big tears, Big smiles--lots of love!!!!! MK

MK Update 10/27/2008

Just wanted to update you on my "infection status". Again, your prayers have carried me through another close call. My infection has responded very well to the two antibiotics! Last week, Dr. Bauer thought the infection was much better but wanted to keep me on the antibiotics for one more week. The big test will be tomorrow! I am scheduled to get another injection tomorrow afternoon. Please continue to pray for NO INFECTIONS!!! I just have to get to December 11th with no infections. My FINAL surgery is scheduled for December 11th as long as I have no infections between now and then. Again, thank you so very much for the continued prayer support. I called Shelly before I left the doctor's office when I found out about the infection and asked her to e-mail my Army of Angels immediately to start the specific prayers for the infection. You will never know how comforting it is to know that I have each of you to carry me through the scary times. That fear monster never really visits me anymore. I think I scared him a little, but when he realized the size and strength of the Army he was messing with--he ran far away. You guys are better than the Verizon Network!

I do feel like I am coming to the end of this roller coaster ride. I really can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Each day that light grows brighter and brighter. I almost feel back to normal--I still just don't have the energy I had before--but I know that will take a while to build back up. But I do feel so very good! And, my hair is slowly growing back. Maybe by Thanksgiving I can have enough hair to spike up!

Again, I love each of you more than you will ever know! You are all so very dear to me! I'll keep you updated on this injection. Love to you all! MK

Please Pray For MK (e-mail from Shelly 10/13/2008)

Hello everyone. MK had to go to the doctor today for another round of injections and when she got there, it was discovered that she has acquired another infection. She was prescribed 2 different antibiotics and she has to go back on Wednesday for a check-up. If the infection hasn’t improved by then, it is likely that she’ll have to have another surgery to clean out the infection. She will probably email you guys with more/better details, but she asked that I send a quick email to everyone to ask you to please start praying for her. I was with her on Friday and someone that she hadn’t seen in a few weeks told her that she has the sparkle back in her eyes. He was right, and I sure don’t want her to have to lose that sparkle again, so please, please say a prayer for her. Thank you so much!!Shelly (MK’s friend)